


know this life by your side

by Laylah



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
Genre: Blood Drinking, Character Death Fix, F/F, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 18:31:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12041751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laylah/pseuds/Laylah
Summary: "Argilla," Jinana whispers. "Do not be sad.""I won't," Argilla says. She yanks the emergency knife out of her belt. "I'm not going to lose you here."





	know this life by your side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cricket_aria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cricket_aria/gifts).



"Change, damnit!" Heat growls, as Jinana stretches and shudders and shifts in front of them. "Don't show her any mercy!"

He's right. He's right. Argilla's old self would have known that without question. Her new self still wants to scream in protest as she surrenders to the Atma and lets Privithi overtake her.

Privithi's senses make it worse, if anything. She can smell the endless blur of rain and the sharp hunger of Varna and Agni to either side of her, and she can smell Jinana, too, whatever the right name is for the shape Jinana's wearing now. She's just like them, except weak and desperate with hunger and so alone.

The fight is a slow, terrible grind. None of them can do enough damage to stop Jinana quickly. ( _Put her out of her misery_ is the phrase that rises unbidden to mind, and Argilla doesn't know where it comes from.) Jinana can't hurt them that much, either, not with Argilla casting Media and Serph raising shields against her holy light. It feels like it's taking forever, and every hit Jinana takes makes Argilla flinch too. This shouldn't be happening. 

Finally—after far too long, after Jinana takes far too many hits and every one makes Argilla ache inside—Jinana crumples, falling to the rain-wet stone as her Atma form dissolves back into her human one. Her summoned soldiers scatter. Blood pools under her body. Argilla is running toward her as soon as her flesh is her own again.

"Jinana!"

Jinana looks up as Argilla drops to her knees. "You three... are strong," she rasps. Her eyes are still gray but they have a distance to them that they never had before.

This can't be happening. There's a pain in Argilla's chest that isn't her Atma and isn't an injury but it's the worst thing she's ever felt, and she's barely breathing around it. She's babbling, begging Jinana to be okay, to come home with them, to let Sera help, and the whole time she's talking her vision is clouding up and her throat feels too tight. How can someone else's injury hurt this much?

"Your eyes," Jinana says weakly. "Those are... they must be tears." Her hand comes up to touch Argilla's face, gentle and trembling.

The word is right and it floods Argilla's mind with images, ideas, _sadness_ and _loss_ and _grief_. "They keep coming," she says. "I can't stop, Jinana, I—" But there's something else along with the pain, a bright fierce heat that energizes her: "No! I'm not going to let this happen. I'm not going to let it end like this."

"Argilla," Jinana whispers. "Do not be sad."

"I won't," Argilla says. She yanks the emergency knife out of her belt. "I'm not going to lose you here."

Jinana is watching her, struggling to breathe. "It'll be... all right," she gasps out.

Argilla nods. She just needs to make sure Jinana has enough strength to make it back to Muladhara with them. That's all. She can afford that.

She slashes a quick, deep cut across the inside of her wrist. Behind her, she hears Heat growl, but the sound cuts off before it can become a word—Serph stopping him, Argilla thinks, and she's so grateful. She holds out her arm as blood wells up in the cut. "Please," she says as Jinana shakes her head. "I want you to have it. I want to save you."

Jinana's eyes flutter shut and she nods once.

Argilla presses the cut to Jinana's mouth. Jinana makes a sharp sound in her throat, maybe surprise, maybe distress, maybe—maybe a thing Argilla still hasn't figured out the name for. Her tongue touches the wound and that hurts, but only a little. Not enough to matter. Her eyes snap open again, bright beautiful green, and she bites down hard.

Privithi's consciousness flares to life in the back of Argilla's mind and she struggles to suppress it. She's not being attacked. It's fine. This isn't a battle. She places her hand against Jinana's side, where she can feel the rise-and-fall rhythm of Jinana's breathing, and tries to remember what it felt like to listen to Sera's song. The pain is a small thing, once she's caught hold of that memory, and this will help

Serph is the one who pulls them apart, sometime after Argilla has managed to relax into the hypnotic rhythm of Jinana's mouth working against the wound. He's worried about her. They're such a small team, they can't afford for her to be unable to fight.

And all of that is reasonable, so Argilla lets him bandage up her arm while she watches Jinana carefully sit up. "How do you feel?"

"Not... good," Jinana says. She smiles gently and Argilla feels a strange lightness in her chest at the expression. "But better."

Argilla takes her hand—not for any purpose, not to lead her somewhere or demonstrate something, just... because it feels right. Jinana shifts against her grip, not pulling away but interlacing their fingers instead.

"If you losers are ready," Heat grumbles, "we should get out of here before anybody notices what a great time it would be to ambush us."

Serph lets go of her bandaged arm and Argilla smiles at Jinana. "Can you walk?"

Jinana nods. "I think so." She gets to her feet carefully, with Argilla's help. "I'm glad you came to us, even though it turned out like this," she says. "You are a good comrade."

"Comrade," Argilla repeats thoughtfully. It's a strange word, another new word, and she likes the way it feels in her heart.

"It feels right," Jinana says. It's true. She leans into Argilla as Argilla wraps an arm around her waist to steady her, and with Heat and Serph to guard them they make their way home.

* * *

Muladhara is a smaller, more closed-off space than Manipura, its resources hidden below ground. Defensible, Jinana thinks. It would be hard for a larger Tribe to make use of its superior numbers here, and easy for the Embryon's relatively small group of warriors to hold off an assault.

The Embryon's strike team have left her here to recuperate, settling her in one of the small barrack rooms on the bottom level, while they return to Manipura to see how much damage Mick managed to do. They gave her some rations before they left—the food helped, and she hasn't let herself wonder what it was made of—and Argilla promised to be back soon, and the vivid rich color of her eyes makes Jinana grope for lost memories to find something to compare it to.

She hasn't been left alone, of course. That would be foolish, and no Tribe lasts long with foolish leaders. Their strategist, Gale, has been keeping watch over her, his gun slung casually at his side but his hand still on it, as though—alone, wounded, exhausted—Jinana might still pose some threat.

"What do you plan to do now?" he asks her, after several long, silent minutes.

Jinana doesn't have to think about it for long. "The surviving members of the Maribel will join the Embryon," she says. "The Embryon defeated the Maribel's leader in combat. That's the law, isn't it?"

Gale frowns at her. "That outcome typically only occurs when a battle ends in the death of a team leader."

"These are unusual circumstances," Jinana points out. "Everything has changed since we received the Atma."

"Not everything has changed," Gale says. A strategist. Prone to being literal. "But many people's behavior has become illogical."

"You think I'm one of them," Jinana says. It feels appropriate to smile.

"You are," Gale confirms. 

Yes. Definitely appropriate to smile.

The door opens and someone else slips into the room with them: a girl, smaller and slighter of build than Argilla, with black hair framing her face. Jinana tries to sit up straighter, her eyes widening. The black-haired girl the Temple seeks is already here.

"What are you doing here?" Gale demands. "Your existence is not to be divulged."

"Argilla asked me to," the girl says. She looks at Jinana, and her face is kind. "My name is Sera. I'm here to help."

"Thank you," Jinana says.

Sera glances at Gale as if unsure whether he'll protest again, but he says nothing further. She opens her mouth and what comes out is a _song_ , words with a melody that rises and falls. The hungry, angry noise of the Atma in the back of Jinana's head quiets, and her body relaxes for the first time since the Junkyard started to change. Even Gale appears to be feeling it. He murmurs the words along with her, his eyes half-lidded.

When the song is over, the room is quiet for a minute, and Jinana still hears the last words echoing through her mind. _Shantih, shantih_. She's going to be all right. They're going to find a way to survive, to end this suffering.

"That was beautiful," she says, smiling at Sera.

"I can't do much," Sera says. "But I'm glad there was a way for me to help you." She smiles. "You should get some rest and heal up. I'm sure Argilla will want to talk to you more when she gets back."

"Will you sing again?" Jinana asks.

Sera nods, and Jinana stretches out on the bunk the Embryon have given her. She closes her eyes, and drifts off to the sound of Sera's sweet voice.

She doesn't know how long it's been when she wakes. The lights are the same in the room, but she's alone. She's hungry, but it's bearable, and the ache in her wounded side is far less intense. She can still remember the peace of that song, even if the feeling escapes her now.

There are noises coming from outside her room, voices and hurried footsteps. Jinana gets up, careful on her feet at first, but she's getting better. She needs to know what's going on.

The door bursts open before she can get there. "Jinana!"

"Argilla! What's happening?"

"We're preparing for an attack," Argilla says. She looks fierce and determined, and it makes Jinana's heart swell to look at her. "Bat told Mick about Sera. Our scouts have just spotted a raiding party on the way here."

"Let me fight with you," Jinana says immediately.

Argilla's expression softens. "Are you sure?" She takes a step toward Jinana, reaching out. "You were wounded, and I know you don't want to kill..."

Jinana takes a matching step, so Argilla's hand can come to rest on the curve of her waist. Nothing in the Junkyard has ever made her feel things the way Argilla does. "I'm sure," she says. "You gave me a chance. You gave me my life back when it should have been over. You..." She doesn't know how to explain what she's feeling right now, what the right word is for this sense of lightness and heat and longing. But perhaps—

She closes the last of the distance between them and presses her lips to Argilla's, slow but firm, and when Argilla returns the gesture after a second Jinana knows this is called a _kiss_ , sweet and soft as Sera's song but very different, too, and she wants to know what it's for and why it feels so good, and she wants to learn these things with Argilla's help.

But later. After they've defended their Tribe. She pulls back. "I want to fight. I want to be your comrade."

Argilla nods. She's smiling. "Let's go."


End file.
